These kids are different!

I have heard it said, and I have thought it myself, something is up with “these” kids. This generation is different. It can seem like they have no values, low morality, and no respect! They’re bold in ways we wouldn’t have dared. We think it’s got to be the technology, social media, or maybe the music, but truly every generation thinks the new upcomers are “different”. The reality is that they are! They should be, because we are different. We are not our parents, or grandparents. As time goes by and society shapes around us, different ways of thinking change how we interact with each other, how we treat children, and how we view the role of a parent. Individuals change throughout the course of life and come to new understandings. That’s why your parents treat the grandkids nicer, that’s why if you have a sibling with a significant age gap, they don’t even know the same parent. The kids are different because people are different. We are not raising these kids in the same world or household that we grew up in. For example, my mother was raised as one out of nine children, in a two parent household, in rural America. I was raised as the only child of a single mother in the military. What she had to learn to navigate, and the survival skills she needed are not the same as mine. There are some lessons in life that are universal and timeless, then there are others that only fit a particular time or situation. A lot of frustration is caused when trying to hold on to something that no longer fits the time.

The beauty of younger generations is their ability to challenge the “norm” without even trying. Have you ever had a child ask why you do something or asked you to explain a concept? You probably tried to simplify it so they can understand and maybe simplifying it made you realize it was silly, or realize you don’t know or never thought about it. One of my favorite stories I’ve heard to illustrate this is about a women who every time she made a ham she cut off both ends of it. One day, she’s teaching her child how to make it and the child asks why she cut the ham this way, the mother said she did that because that’s what her mother did. They went back and asked grandma, and then great-grandma and she explained that she did that because the pan she had back then was too small for a whole ham. I love that example, it shows how much we can assume when we don’t ask questions.

Once we accept that yes, the children are different, we have to accept that means we have to raise them different. Parenting practices that worked when you were growing up, may not work for your child, they may not even feel authentic to you. That is okay. I have come across a lot of parents who feel this way, they know that what was done before them is not something they want to continue, but sometimes they are not sure of what else to do. Step one is to be open to trying something new and be open to making mistakes and trying again. Parents Are People is a space for having those discussions and sharing ideas about new ways to view parenting for this different generation.